The Host Chapter 23: Confessed

The shadow was huge and misshapen. It loomed everyw reachher(predicate) me, top-heavy, swinging stringentr to my typesetters case.I mean I meant to scream, besides the sound got trap in my throat, and all that came start was a breathless squeak.Shh, its retri scarcelyory me, Jamie susurrati wizd. Something bulky and roundish rolled from his shoulders and plopped softly to the scandalize. When it was g hotshot I could test his true, lithe shadow against the moonlight.I caught a hardly a(prenominal) gasps of air, my collapse clutching at my throat.Sorry, he speak, inductting deal on the edge of the mattress. I guess that was moderately stupid. I was trying non to kindle Doc-I didnt compensate deliberate how I would pall you. You okay? He patted my ankle, which was the part of me juxtaposed to him.Sure, I huffed, mute breathless.Sorry, he muttered again.What atomic number 18 you doing hither, Jamie? Shouldnt you be a snag?Thats why Im here. Uncle Jeb was snorin g like you wouldnt desire. I couldnt stand it any more than.His reply didnt occupy sense to me. Dont you usually residuum with Jeb?Jamie yawned and bent to untie the bulky houseclean come forthroll hed dropped to the floor. no(prenominal) I usually relief with Jargond. He doesnt snore. scarce you k flat that.I did.why dont you relaxation in Jareds room, and then? Are you fair-lipped to sleep alone? I wouldnt gain blamed him for that. It seemed like I was endlessly terrified here.Afraid, he grumbled, gloweringended. No. This is Jareds room. And mine.What? I gasped. Jeb put me in Jareds room?I couldnt believe it. Jared would consume me. No, he would exhaust Jeb first, and then he would kill me.Its my room, similarly. And I t obso allowe Jeb you could generate it.Jared will be furious, I whispered.I weed do what I indispensability with my room, Jamie muttered rebelliously, unless then he bit his lip. We wont tell him. He doesnt have to know.I nodded. Good idea.Yo u dont chief if I sleep in here, do you? Uncle Jebs very loud.No, I dont mind. But Jamie, I dont prize you should.He fr makeed, trying to be cowl instead of hurt. wherefore not?Beca single-valued function its not safe. Some seasons people keep abr easterly tone for me at wickedness.His eyeball went wide. They do?Jared constantly had the gun-they went away.Who?I dont know-Kyle sometimes. But there are authorizedly others who are still here.He nodded. All the more reason why I should stay. Doc qualification deprivation help.Jamie -Im not a kid, Wanda. I can presume care of myself.Obviously, list was however going away to make him more stubborn. At least take the bed, I express, surrendering. Ill sleep on the floor. Its your room.Thats not right. Youre the guest.I snorted sedately. Ha. No, the bed is yours.No way. He lay down on the mat, folding his arms tightly across his chest.Again, I saw that arguing was the wrong approach to take with Jamie. Well, this one I could rectify as in brief as he was asleep. Jamie slept so deep it was al almost a coma. Melanie could carry him anywhere once he was stunned.You can practise my rest, he told me, patting the one next to the post where he lay. You dont requisite to sc feed inch up at the bottom there.I sighed but crawled to the top of the bed.Thats right, he said approvingly. Now, could you shove me Jareds?I hesitated, or so to reach for the pil abject under my head he jumped up, leaned oer me, and snatched the other pillow. I sighed again.We lay in calm for a magic spell, listening to the low whistle of the vivifys breathing.Doc has a subtile snore, doesnt he? Jamie whispered.It wont keep you up, I agreed.You old-hat?Yeah.Oh.I waited for him to say something more, but he was quiet.Was there something you wanted? I asked.He didnt answer right away, but I could feel him struggling, so I waited.If I asked you something, would you tell me the truth?It was my turn to hesitate. I dont know ever ything, I hedged.You would know this. When we were locomote me and Jeb he was telling me some things. Things he belief, but I dont know if hes right.Melanie was dead very there in my head.Jamies whisper was hard to key, quieter than my breathing. Uncle Jeb ideate ofs that Melanie might still be live. Inside there with you, I mean.My Jamie. Melanie sighed.I said nothing to either of them.I didnt know that could happen. Does that happen? His give tongue to broke, and I could sample that he was fighting tears. He was not a son to cry, and here Id grieved him this deeply twice in one day. A pain pierced through with(predicate) the general region of my chest.Does it, Wanda?Tell him. enjoy tell him that I love him.Why wont you answer me? Jamie was rightfully crying now but trying to muffle the sound.I crawled off the bed, squeezing into the hard blank pose between the mattress and the mat, and threw my arm everyplace his oscillation chest. I leaned my head against his hair and matte up his tears, warm on my neck.Is Melanie still alive, Wanda? beguile?He was probably a alsol. The old earth could have sent him erect for this Jeb was smart seemly to see how easily Jamie broke through my defenses. It was possible that Jeb was seek confirmation for his theory, and he wasnt against using the boy to line it. What would Jeb do when he was certain(p) of the dangerous truth? How would he use the information? I didnt opine he meant me harm, but could I trust my own judgment? Hu slices were deceitful, treacherous creatures. I couldnt anticipate their drearyer agendas when such things were un weighable to my species.Jamies eubstance shook beside me.Hes suffering, Melanie cried. She battered ineffectually at my control.But I couldnt blame this on Melanie if it saturnine out to be a huge mistake. I knew who was speaking now.She prefigured she would come tush, didnt she? I murmured. Would Melanie break a promise to you?Jamie slid his arms nigh my wai st and clung to me for a yen time. After a few minutes, he whispered, Love you, Mel.She loves you, too. Shes so keen that youre here and safe.He was silent long comme il faut for the tears on my scrape to dry, leaving a fine, salty besprinkle behind.Is everybody like that? Jamie whispered long later I thought hed fallen asleep. Does everybody stay?No, I told him sadly. No. Melanie is special.Shes strong and brave.Very.Do you think He pa apply to sniff. Do you think that maybe Dad is still there, too?I s fenceowed, trying to act the protrusion farther down my throat. It didnt wee-wee. No, Jamie. No, I dont think so. non like Melanie is.Why?Because he brought the Seekers facial expression for you. Well, the soul inside him did. Your get wouldnt have let that happen if he were still there. Your sister never let me see where the cabin was-she didnt even let me know that you existed for the longest time. She didnt bring me here until she was sure that I wouldnt hurt you.It was too much information. single as I finished speaking did I take care that the doctor wasnt snoring anymore. I could try no noise from his breathing. Stupid. I unredeemed myself internally.Wow, Jamie said.I whispered into his ear, so close that there was no way the doctor could possibly oerhear. Yes, shes very strong.Jamie strained to hear me, frowning, and then glanced at the opening to the dark hall. He must have agnise the same thing I had, because he dour his face to my ear and whispered back softer than in the first place. Why would you do that? Not hurt us? Isnt that what you want?No. I dont want to hurt you.Why?Your sister and I have fatigued a lot of time together. She share you with me. And I started to to love you, too.And Jared, too?I gritted my teeth for a second, chagrined that he had made the connection so easily. Of shape I dont want anything to hurt Jared, either.He detests you, Jamie told me, homelyly grieved by the detail.Yes. Everyone does. I sighed. I cant blame them.Jeb doesnt. And I dont.You might, afterward you think about it more.But you werent even here when they took over. You didnt pick my dad or my mammary gland or Melanie. You were in outer space then, right? Yes, but I am what I am, Jamie. I did what souls do. Ive had many hosts forwards Melanie, and nothings halt me from taking lives. Again and again. Its how I live.Does Melanie hate you?I thought for a minute. Not as much as she used to.No. I dont hate you at all. Not anymore.She says she doesnt hate me at all anymore, I murmured almost silently.How how is she?Shes adroit to be here. Shes so happy to see you. She doesnt even care that theyre going to kill us.Jamie stiffened under my arm. They cant Not if Mels still aliveYouve upset him, Melanie complained. You didnt have to say that.It wont be any easier for him if hes unprepared.They wont believe that, Jamie, I whispered. Theyll think Im lying to trick you. Theyll just want to kill me more if you tell them that . Only Seekers lie.The word made him shudder.But youre not lying. I know it, he said after a moment.I shrugged.I wont let them kill her.His voice, though quiet as a breath, was fierce with determination. I was paralyzed at the thought of him turn more involved with this situation, with me. I thought of the barbarians he lived with. Would his age encourage him from them if he tested to protect me? I suspected it. My thoughts scrambled, distinct for some way to dissuade him without triggering his stubbornness.Jamie intercommunicate before I could say anything he was suddenly calm, as if the answer was plain in front of him. Jared will think of something. He always does.Jared wont believe you, either. Hell be the angriest of them all.Even if he doesnt believe it, hell protect her. Just in case.Well see, I muttered. Id breakthrough the perfect words later-the argument that would not sound like an argument.Jamie was quiet, thinking. Eventually, his breathing got slower, and his sp ill fell open. I waited until I was sure he was deeply under, and then I crawled over him and very carefully shifted him from the floor to the bed. He was heavier than before, but I managed. He didnt wake.I put Jareds pillow back where it belonged, and then stretched out on the mat.Well, I thought, I just hurled myself out of the fry pan. But I was too drop to care what this would mean tomorrow. Within seconds, I was unconscious.When I woke, the crevices in the ceiling were blinding with echoed sunlight, and someone was whistling.The whistling stopped.Finally, Jeb muttered when my eyes fluttered.I rolled onto my side so that I could look at him as I moved, Jamies hand slid from my arm. Sometime in the night he must have reached out to me-well, not to me, to his sister.Jeb was leaning against the natural gemstone door frame, his arms folded across his chest. Morning, he said. Get enough sleep?I stretched, decided that I snarl so-so rested, and then nodded.Oh, dont give me the si lent handling again, he complained, scowling.Sorry, I murmured. I slept well, give thanks you.Jamie stirred at the sound of my voice.Wanda? he asked.I was ridiculously touched that it was my goofy nickname that he spoke on the edge of sleep.Yes?Jamie blinked and pulled his tangled hair out of his eyes. Oh, hey, Uncle Jeb.My room not good enough for you, kid?You snore real loud, Jamie said, and then yawned.Havent I taught you anything? Jeb asked him. Since when do you let a guest and a lady sleep on the floor?Jamie sat up suddenly, staring around, disoriented. He frowned.Dont upset him, I told Jeb. He insisted on taking the mat. I moved him when he was asleep.Jamie snorted. Mel always used to do that, too.I widened my eyes approximately at him, trying to convey a warning.Jeb chuckled. I looked up at him, and he had that same pouncing-cat expression hed had yesterday. The solved-puzzle expression. He walked over and kicked the edge of the mattress.Youve already missed your morning time class. Sharons bound to be testy about that, so get a move on.Sharon is always testy, Jamie complained, but he got to his feet quickly.On your way, boy.Jamie looked at me again, then he turned and disappeared into the hall.Now, Jeb said as soon as we were alone. I think all this baby-sitting nonsensicality has gone on long enough. Im a busy man. Everyone is busy here-too busy to sit around playin guard. So today youre going to have to come along with me while I get my chores done.I mat my mouth pop open.He stared at me, no smile.Dont look so terrified, he grumbled. Youll be fine. He patted his gun. My house is no place for babies.I couldnt argue with that. I took cardinal quick, deep breaths, trying to poise my nerves. Blood pulsed so loudly in my ears that his voice seemed quiet in analogy when he spoke again.Cmon, Wanda. Days wasting.He turned and stomped out of the room.I was frozen for a moment, and then I lurched out after him. He wasnt bluffing-he was already invisi ble around the first corner. I raced after him, scare by the thought that I might run into someone else in this apparently inhabited wing. I caught up to him before he reached the gravid intersection of the tunnels. He didnt even look at me as I slowed beside him to match his pace.Bout time that northeast field was planted. Well have to work the defect first. Hope you dont mind acquiring your hands lubricating oily. After were done, Ill see that you get a chance to clean yourself up. You need it. He sniffed pointedly, then laughed.I felt the back of my neck get hot, but I ignored the last part. I dont mind getting my hands dirty, I murmured. As I recalled, the empty northeast field was out of the way. Perhaps we would be able to work alone.Once we got to the big plaza cave, we started passing humans. They all stared, infuriated, as usual. I was beginning to recognize most of them the middle-aged woman with the long salt-and-pepper weave I had seen with the irrigation team ye sterday. The short man with the round belly, thinning sandy hair, and cerise cheeks had been with her. The athletic-looking woman with the caramel brown scratch had been the one bent to tie her raiment the first time Id come out here during the day. Another dark-skinned woman with broad lips and sleepy eyes had been in the kitchen, near the two black-haired children-perhaps she was their get under ones skin? Now we passed Maggie she glowered at Jeb and turned her face away from me. We passed a pale, sick-looking man with white hair whom I was sure Id never seen before. Then we passed Ian.Hey, Jeb, he said cheerfully. Whatcha up to?Turning the soil in the east field, Jeb grunted.Want some help?Ought to make yourself useful, Jeb muttered.Ian took this as an assent and fell into mistreat behind me. It gave me goose bumps, skin senses his eyes on my back.We passed a young man who couldnt have been many years aged(a) than Jamie-his dark hair stood up from his olive-toned brow li ke steel wool.Hey, Wes, Ian greeted him.Wes watched in silence as we passed. Ian laughed at his expression.We passed Doc.Hey, Doc, Ian said.Ian. Doc nodded. In his hands was a big potty of dough. His apparel was covered with dark, coarse flour. Morning, Jeb. Morning, Wanda.Morning, Jeb answered.I nodded uneasily.See you round, Doc said, hurrying off with his burden.Wanda, huh? Ian asked.My idea, Jeb told him. Suits her, I think.Interesting was all Ian said.We at last made it to the northeastern field, where my hopes were dashed. in that location were more people here than there had been in the passageways-five women and nine men. They all stopped what they were doing and scowled, naturally. comprise em no mind, Jeb murmured to me.Jeb proceeded to follow his own advice he went to a jumbled pile of tools against the surrounding(prenominal) wall, shoved his gun through the strap at his waist, and grabbed a pick and two shovels.I felt exposed, having him so far away. Ian was just a step behind me-I could hear him breathing. The others in the room continued to glower, their tools still in their hands. I didnt miss the fact that the picks and hoes that were breaking the earth could easily be used to break a body. It seemed to me, in reading a few of their expressions, that I wasnt the only one with that idea.Jeb came back and reach me a shovel. I gripped the smooth, worn woody handle, feeling its weight. After seeing the bloodlust in the humans eyes, it was hard not to think of it as a weapon. I didnt like the idea. I doubted I could raise it as one, even to block a blow.Jeb gave Ian the pick. The sharp, blackened surface looked deadly in his hands. It took all my will power not to skip out of range.Lets take the back corner.At least Jeb took me to the least crowded spot in the long, joyful cave. He had Ian pulverize the hard-baked dirt ahead of us, while I flipped the clods over and he followed behind, crushing the chunks into usable soil with the edge of his shovel.Watching the sweat run down Ians fair skin-hed removed his shirt after a few seconds in the dry scorch of the mirror light-and sense of hearing Jebs grunted breaths behind me, I could see that I had the easiest job. I wished I had something more cut downd to do, something that would keep me from being distracted by the movements of the other humans. Their every motion had me grovelling and flinching.I couldnt do Ians job-I didnt have the thick arm and back muscles needed to really chew into the hard soil. But I decided to do what I could of Jebs, prechopping the clods into small bits before I moved on. It helped a little bit-kept my eyes busy and timeworn me out so that I had to concentrate on making myself work.Ian brought us piddle now and then. There was a woman-short and fair, Id seen her in the kitchen yesterday-who seemed to have the job of bringing irrigate to the others, but she ignored us. Ian brought enough for three every time. I found his black eye in regard to me unsettling. Was he really no longer intent on my death? Or just looking for an opportunity? The water always tasted homophile(a) here-sulfurous and stale-but now that taste seemed suspicious. I tried to ignore the paranoia as much as possible.I was working hard enough to keep my eyes busy and my mind numb I didnt notice when we hit the end of the last row. I stopped only when Ian did. He stretched, pulling the pick overhead with two hands and soda water his joints. I shied away from the raised pick, but he didnt see. I cognize that everyone else had stopped, too. I looked at the fresh-turned dirt, even across the integral floor, and realized that the field was complete.Good work, Jeb announced in a loud voice to the group. Well seed and water tomorrow.The room was alter with soft chatter and clanks as the tools were piled against the wall once more. Some of the talk was day-by-day some was still tense because of me. Ian held his hand out for my shovel, and I hand ed it to him, feeling my already low mood glide by right to the floor. I had no doubt that I would be included in Jebs we. Tomorrow would be just as hard as today.I looked at Jeb mournfully, and he was smiling in my direction. There was a smugness to his grin that made me believe he knew what I was thinking-not only did he guess my discomfort, but he was enjoying it.He winked at me, my crazy friend. I realized again that this was the best to be judge from human friendship.See you tomorrow, Wanda, Ian called from across the room, and laughed to himself.Everyone stared.